Different Kind of Special Blog

“Will I ever be happy again?” That thought echoed in my head over and over in the days, weeks and months after my daughter was born. When she was only two days old, she received a devastating diagnosis that included daily, uncontrolled seizures, a significant vision impairment and a life expectancy of just 6-8 years.

I was sad and angry and scared. There were times that I truly thought that I might not ever feel joy again.

Spoiler alert: I would be happy again. But, it would take time, and som...

As special needs parents, it can feel like we have zero time for ourselves. We might even laugh if someone suggests ‘self care’ to us because really, when would we have time for that?

But, is it possible that you are missing out on opportunities to take care of yourself in little pockets of time? Self care doesn’t have to be complicated to be effective. Even if you only have five minutes, you can do something that can have a big impact on your mood.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

• R
...

A few years ago, I came across the book “Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure.”  So much can be said with just a half dozen words, and I loved the idea of explaining my current life situation in six words. And, it’s been an evolution.

My first six-word life description after Julia was born was “Too much worrying ruins nearly everything.” I don’t think I’m alone in being a parent that worries. And, when your child has complex medical and developmental iss...

Last year, my husband got me a FitBit for my birthday. That gift inspired me to give myself an ongoing gift of self-care: I’ve been walking 10,000 steps at least three or four times a week while listening to podcasts. I’m proud to share that I’ve walked more than 750 miles in the last eight months.

That means I’ve also listened to hours and hours of podcasts. One that I’ve especially enjoyed is Life Coach School with Brooke Castillo. In one episode, she shares a model that I call the ‘Empowerme...

When I was younger, I would sometimes find myself thinking about how I would handle adversity if and when it came my way. I don’t mean disappointments or small setbacks. I wondered how I would react to a really difficult life circumstance. I thought about whether or not I had it in me to behave with strength and grace when things got really hard.

Then, at a routine 20-week ultrasound during my second pregnancy, I started to uncover the answers to those questions. I learned that when faced with ...

Does it seem like bad, yucky, awful, unfair things are always happening to you and your family? Is there ever an upside to these bad things? Do you have any control over them?

How did you answer those questions? If you feel like difficult circumstances are always happening to you, and nothing good ever comes out of those difficulties and you have no control over them, you might benefit from reframing your adversity to uncover something more positive.

I am not a delusional optimist. I think tha...

True confession: I spend a lot of time on Facebook. My husband and kids have made comments about how much time I spend on my computer, and they’re not wrong. However, I don’t think I use Facebook in the same way most people do. Sure, I spend some time following what my friends are up to, and I watch a funny video or two once in a while. But, for me, Facebook is primarily a ‘research’ tool. I spend the majority of my time on Facebook learning more about how I can help Julia, either now or in the ...

Are you a parent who loves taking your kids on adventures or do you prefer the convenience and comfort of home? Even if you’re an active, extroverted person who loves adventure, outings can be challenging when you’re a family that includes a child with special needs. And, to be completely honest, sometimes those extra challenges make me second guess whether or not the outing is worth the effort and the worry.

Earlier this summer, my daughters and I had the opportunity for a girls night out. One...

I recently wrote an article for Exceptional Parent magazine about making connections when your child has a rare disorder. Over the years, I’ve found that you can truly rely on other special needs parents for advice, friendship and support.

Recently, there was a meme circulating around the special needs community about what happens when a special needs parent falls in a hole. The theme of the meme is that when you have a child with special needs, the only person who you can truly count on to hel...

In my ebook ‘Choosing Joy,’ I talk about self-limiting beliefs – the long list of things I starting telling myself would be impossible after we learned about all of Julia’s medical, developmental and physical challenges. Camping was one of those activities I thought we would never be able to do as a family. Some families might not be disappointed to miss out on camping. But, I’m married to an Eagle Scout, and we have two sons who are Boy Scouts, so camping is a thing for us.

Luckily, we’ve disc...